if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Randomize