East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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