is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
