Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
