dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
