i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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