I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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