It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
