I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
