im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
