if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
