True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
