idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize