Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Just pee around me
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
