Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Nicole vs. Life
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
She's like a pop up book from hell.
two words...techno handjob
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
