okay pat passed out under dana's car
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
