Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
