Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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