John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Everything about him screamed your future.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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