sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
