So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
