you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
