5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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