Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
