So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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