Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
