I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
