Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Randomize
