it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
