every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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