I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
