Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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