I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
