you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize