Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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