he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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