No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I just want nice things and good sex
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
