I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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