i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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