Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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