Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
