you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
