Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
