There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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