This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
