508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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