Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
