whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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