i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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