Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
What drink are we having for lunch?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
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