You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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