what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
