Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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