he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
