i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
