He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
