Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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