There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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