I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
