Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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