I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
