ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
