Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
