this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize