wat bout pragnant strippers??
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
