Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
